Change is something I have been wrestling with for the past three years. And not just small change, like you "change" your clothes, or "change" your eating habits (yes that is in the small change category!).
I'm talking about big, life altering change.
The kind where you get a second chance. The kind where EVERYTHING changes.
This is me, right now, STILL. Big Change.
So many things in this season of my life are NEW. New church, new friends, new ministry, and soon to be....new parents (a constantly changing deadline!)
Truth be told, sometimes with all the change, I am elated! My bent is to be an adventurous explorer, seeking to discover more than what lies on the surface, diving (almost haphazardly) into the ocean while others do a ten point safety check before dipping their left pinky toe in the water. I'm usually willing to go first, give first, try first, even if everyone else backs out. I do LOVE this thrill.
But if I am truthful, there are some times.....
in the waiting,
in the change,
of going first,
of being the only one walking this path,
of being misunderstood,
and even judged....
yes, sometimes it's hard.
But God is always faithful. He always seems to know when our hearts need encouragement.
After 5 whole long days of inside recess at school (I know, feel sorry for me after almost two months of constant snow days), and constant big changes in adoption news this past week, and other notable changes not worthy to be discussed once again, I went to bed last night, utterly completely exhausted, unable to even read one word, and only one simple prayer. "Help, Lord."
And through the night, He gives His beloved sleep (Psalm 127:2) and His mercies are new every morning (Lam 3:22). This morning was one of those God moments for me. I woke up perfectly refreshed at 6:45am, popped out of bed, with a message in my heart from Holy Spirit. It was like He was just waiting there for me to get up. I couldn't even get my first thoughts out of my head before my heart was spilling out what He was speaking to me. I could hardly write it down fast enough.
"Why spend all that money to go on a missions trip? Why spend all that money to adopt two boys internationally? Why go through all this trouble? Why not just send that money TO them and it will change their lives? Here's the answer: The power is not in the money.
The power for change is in relationship. They will know we are His by our love. They will know HIM by our love."
The power for change is in relationship. So simple, and SO much truth in all areas of our lives. While money can bring a monumental change in restoring the physical needs of children and people in poverty, it is only like putting a band-aid on the situation. A temporary relief. But what God is after is heart change, which is much harder. All the money in the world cannot change the human heart. Relationship is the only thing that brings heart change. Relationship is the power for change and God will spend whatever amount of money needed to connect relationships to bring about this change. This is God's true heart for adoption, as well as missions, as well as every day life with those He places in our path this day, as well as personally.
When we REALLY know WHO God is, and really understand His character because of our relationship with Him, then we can walk in faith whatever comes our way.
So, we must ask ourselves, if the power for change is in relationship, WHO do we know God to be? This question is simple, and yet perplexing for so many at the same time. For me, this day, I know my God to be three things.
1. Sovereign. He knows all and sees all, from the beginning of time, now, and in my future. The bottom line, is He knows more than I do and knows what will be for my good. If I understand that, then I can put my trust in Him. He will direct my path. (Proverbs 16:9, Isaiah 46: 9-10)
2. Friend. Holy Spirit is my friend. He wants only the best for me and has goodness stored up for me. He will walk with me and guide me. Whether I choose to be actively listening, is another sermon altogether! (Psalm 23:6, Romans 5:5)
3. Faithful. This comes with experience in KNOWING Him. When I look back on my life, He has NEVER disappointed me. He has been faithful in ALL things. (Psalm 91:4)
When I am in right relationship with my God, I can do all things...I can wait for one day longer....I can be misunderstood....I can jump in first....I can handle change.
In Him I lack for nothing...and I can have confidence for TODAY.
And it is in THIS heart change, that will bring LOVE for each other. Don't get me wrong, I believe strongly in taking care of the widows and orphans and their physical needs too. But it begins and ends with my heart...relationship.
(Encase you are wondering, I just write all this for myself. Its just ME, being ME, sharing my journey in hopes that you might find a morsel of encouragement too. If it helps you too, then I am blessed. If you disagree, or are offended, I am not sorry. I can only be me and tell you what it's like to walk in my shoes from my perspective. I don't have all the answers, but I endeavor to be an authentic representative of Christ in all that I put my had to. I fail many times, but His love for me never changes and I will always be a daughter of the King.)
PS....a little contest is going on at my FB page right now! https://www.facebook.com/AdoptingNations